“Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.”
– Rabindranath Tagore
Randy the dishwasher repairman was given specific instructions concerning the woman’s two pets. “The Rottweiler won’t hurt you, even though it looks fierce, but whatever you do, don’t talk to the parrot.”
Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly the whole time.
“Wow, you’re pretty fat,” the bird would say. “Hey, fatso, you couldn’t change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix a dishwasher.”
Before long, Randy had had enough. “You know, bird, you think you’re pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea.”
The parrot was silent for a moment, and then, with a gleam in its eye, said, “All right. Get him, Spike.”
– Terry Boas
One day a man strolled in to the paint section of a hardware store and walked up to the assistant. “I’d like a pint of canary colored paint,” he says. “Sure” the clerk replies. “Mind if I ask what it’s for?” “My parakeet, “the man said. “See, I want to enter him in a canary contest. He sings so beautifully he is sure to win.”
“Well, you can’t do that!” the assistant says. “The chemicals in the paint will surely kill the poor thing!” “No they won’t,” says the customer. “Listen, buddy, I’ll bet you twenty bucks your parakeet dies if you try to paint him.” “You’re on” said the customer.
Two days later the man walks back in the store and very sheepishly lays $20 on the counter. “So the paint killed him?” asked the clerk. “Indirectly,” the man said. “He seemed to handle the paint okay, but I think the sanding between coats did him in.”