Joke of the day – Personal Ad

August 20, 2013 | Newbloggycat

The following personal ad evidently received numerous enthusiastic responses:
SINGLE BLONDE FEMALE
Looking for a willing partner, any sex or ethnicity. I’m a gorgeous, fun-loving girl who lives to play and make you happy. Let’s go for a romp in the woods or a picnic in the park. Let’s cruise in your convertible with the top down and then go skinny-dipping. I love the outdoors in any weather, and winter nights cuddled up on the sofa. Good food is a total turn on. Stroke me and see how I respond. I’ll be waiting whenever you come home, with nothing but bells on.
Call 555-6633 and ask for Pixie.
Callers found themselves talking to the local animal shelter about a golden retriever puppy.

Quote of the day – Aristotle

August 20, 2013 | Newbloggycat

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”

– Aristotle

Quote of the day – Bob Proctor

August 19, 2013 | Newbloggycat

“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.”

– Bob Proctor

Joke of the day – Lesson on whales

August 18, 2013 | Newbloggycat

A teacher asked her class what they knew about whales. One little girl spoke up and said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher smiled and said she didn’t think that was very likely, because even though whales can be big, their throats are not big enough to swallow a man. But the little girl was adamant, and maintained that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher was getting impatient, and reiterated that this was physically unlikely. But the girl was unmoved, and said that when she got to heaven, she would ask Jonah.

“But what if Jonah went to hell?” the teacher asked.
The girl replied, “Then you ask him.”