I’m in a Chinese restaurant and this duck comes up with a red rose and says: “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds.”
I said: “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.”
A kindergarten teacher handed out a colouring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.
The teacher told her class to colour the duck in yellow and the umbrella green. However, little Bobby coloured the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, “Bobby, how many times have you seen a red duck?” Little Bobby replied, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”
A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
First hunter: How do you know you hit that duck?
Second hunter: Because I shot him in the foot and in the head at the same time.
First hunter: How could you possibly hit him in the foot and head at the same time?
Second hunter: He was scratching his head.
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