I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks,
I am outstanding!
Tag Archives: funny clean jokes
Joke of the day – Smart parrot
Bob, teaching his parrot to talk: “Repeat after me. I can talk.”
Parrot: “I can talk.”
Bob: “I can walk.”
Parrot: “I can walk.”
Bob: “I can fly.”
Parrot: “That’s a lie.”
Joke of the day – Genie in a bottle
A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie!
The genie says, “Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.”
The man says “Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.”
Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears right in front of him!
He continues, “Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here.”
Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red, brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him!
He continues, “Finally, I want to be irresistible to women.”
Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.
Joke of the day – Toilet therapy
Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?”
Wife: “I clean the toilet.”
Husband: “How does that help?”
Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”
Joke of the day – Dear Algebra
Dear Algebra
PLEASE STOP asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back and don’t ask Y.
Joke of the day – Pumpkin
What is a pumpkin’s favourite sport?
Squash!
Joke of the day – Emotional wedding
Just went to an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.
Joke of the day – Tortilla song
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Joke of the day – Et cetera
Et cetera or etc really means :
end of thinking capacity
Joke of the day – Who should brew the coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says: “HEBREWS”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 