Charles Dickens walks into a bar
and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, βOlive or Twist?β
Tag Archives: humour
Joke of the day – New restaurant
Have you heard about the new restaurant
called Karma?
There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
Joke of the day – Warm and cold
A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.
Joke of the day – Charity
A local charity had never received a donation from the townβs banker, so the director made a phone call.
βOur records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you havenβt given a penny to charity,β the director began. βWouldnβt you like to help the community?β
The banker replied, βDid your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?β
βUm, no,β mumbled the director.
βOr that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sisterβs husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?β
βI β¦ I β¦ I had no idea.β
βSo,β said the banker, βif I donβt give them any money, why would I give any to you?β
Joke of the day – The real thing
Women wear fake eyelashes, fake hair and fake nails, yet they want a real man.
Joke of the day – Prodigious
What’s more amazing than a talking dog is a spelling bee.
Joke of the day – The accident
A Buddhist knocked on the vicar’s door with the sad news:
“My carma has just run over your dogma.”
Joke of the day – Opportunist
Dear Optimist & Pessimist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water,
I drank it.
~ Opportunist
Joke of the day – Book critic
“I read your new book.” said the snobbish critic to the author.
“Who wrote it for you?”
“Who read it for you?” he replied.
Joke of the day – Cavity
A cavity is an empty space waiting to be filled with dentist bills.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 