One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. “I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job — a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”
“Poof!” said the genie. “You’re a housewife.”
Here’s a simple tip to keep your complexion young:
Use a soft toothbrush, brush the skin on your face in an upward direction. This will stimulate circulation, slough off dead skin cells, tone your muscles and make your face glow.
“Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.”
― Abraham Lincoln
…wearing a pair of oversize sneakers.
The story of Adam and Eve was being carefully explained in the children’s Sunday School class. Following the story, the children were asked to draw some picture that would illustrate the story.
Little Bobby was most interested and drew a picture of a car with three people in it. In the front seat, behind the wheel was a man and in the back seat, a man and a woman.
The teacher was at a loss to understand how this illustrated the lesson of Adam and Eve.
But little Bobby was prompt with his explanation. “Why, this is God driving Adam and Eve out of the garden!”
“Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it’s realistic or not.”
-Deepak Chopra
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”
The third said: “You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.
“Milton,” she said, “the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.
“Gerald,” she said, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He’s a pain!”
“But Donald,” she said, “the little chicken you sent was delicious!”
Having fun in a box!
“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Robert Frost
Two horses were walking back to the paddock after training. One says to the other “I can’t understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race.”
There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said “I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are tuckered, put in a spurt and you’re sure to win. What do you think of that?”.
The horses looked at one another and said “WOW, a talking dog!”
“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” – Plato
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 