“On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.”
― Michel de Montaigne
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – Price of worship
A man and his nine-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles from home. At the boy’s insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church. The father forgot to bring any cash, so he reached in his pocket and gave his son a dime to drop in the offering plate as it was passed.
As they walked back to their car after the service, the father complained. “The service was too long,” he lamented. “The sermon was boring, and the singing was off key.”
Finally the boy said, “Dad, I thought it was pretty good for a dime.”
Quote of the day – Theodore Roosevelt
Happiness is …
… a healthy diet!
Joke of the day – Lesson on evolution
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy.
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay.(He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there! He doesn’t exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then based on what we were taught today, she does not have one!
Quote of the day – André Gide
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
― André Gide
Joke of the day – Voice mail from God
We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered, “What if God decided to install voice mail?” Imagine praying and hearing this…
Thank you for calling My Father’s House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
What if God used the familiar excuse, “All the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. You call will be answered in the order it was received.
Can you imagine getting these kinds of response as you call on God in prayer?
If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 1 now
If you would like to speak to Michael, press 2 now
For a directory of other angels, press 3 now
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you’re holding,
press 4 now
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, enter his or her social security number now.
For reservations at My Father’s House, press the letters J-O-H-N and then 3-1-6.
For answers on nagging questions about the age of earth and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:00 a.m.
Quote of the day – William Shakespeare
“Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.”
– William Shakespeare
Joke of the day – The photographer
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.
“It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!” The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation.
After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?”
Quote of the day – Thomas Jefferson
“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.”
― Thomas Jefferson
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 