Mrs Smith: What does your husband do for a hobby?
Mrs Jones: He’s a do-it-yourself taxidermist.
Mrs Smith: A do-it-yourself taxidermist?
Mrs Jones: Yes, every night at dinner he stuffs himself.
Tag Archives: clean jokes
Joke of the day – Best medicine
People say that laughter is the best medicine…my face must be curing the world!
Joke of the day – Tax form
Don’t be surprised if your next income tax form is simplified to contain only 4 lines:
1. What was your income last year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much do you have left?
4. Send it in.
Joke of the day – Bestseller
If you think no evil, see no evil and hear no evil, chances are you’ll never write a bestselling novel.
Joke of the day – Junk
Junk is something you keep ten years and then throw away two weeks before you need it.
Joke of the day – Confession
Lady: Pastor, I must confess that I just can’t resist the temptation to sit in front of my mirror two to three hours every day admiring my beauty. I think I need to confess this sin of pride.
Pastor (after looking at the lady): Well, it’s not the sin of pride you need to confess. It is the sin of imagination.
Joke of the day – Army
1st Soldier: What did you do in the Army?
2nd Soldier: I was an eye doctor. My job was to cut the eyes out of potatoes.
Joke of the day – Engagement ring
Lucy: Well, what happened when you showed the girls in the office your new engagement ring? Did they admire it?
Mimi: Better than that, four of them recognized it.
Joke of the day – False teeth
Speaker: This is terrible! I’m the speaker at this banquet and I forgot my false teeth!
Man: I happen to have an extra pair; try these.
Speaker: Too small!
Man: Well, try this pair.
Speaker: Too big!
Man: I have one pair left.
Speaker: These fit just fine. It sure is lucky to sit next to a dentist!
Man: I’m not the dentist. I’m an undertaker.
Joke of the day – Beauty
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 