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Joke of the day – No kidding

Patient: ‘Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.’
Doctor: ‘How long have you had this feeling?’
Patient: ‘Ever since I was a kid.’

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Joke of the day – Covid 19

Patient: “Doctor, how long more do you think this Covid thing will last?”
Doctor: “How should I know, I’m a doctor not a politician.”
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Joke of the day – Film

Doctor, doctor, I’ve just swallowed a roll of film.
Don’t worry, nothing serious will develop.
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Joke of the day – Vet

“What’s a vet?  I’m a dogtor.”

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Joke of the day – Misdiagnosed

A nurse burst into  the doctor’s office:
Nurse :  “Doctor, the patient you just gave a clean bill of health dropped dead outside the door.   What should I do?” 
Doctor: “Quick!  Turn him the other way so he’ll look like he was just coming in.”

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Joke of the day – Deck of cards

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A patient bursts into a doctor’s office.
Patient:  “Doctor, I believe I’m a deck of cards!”

Doctor: “Please sit in the waiting room.  I’ll be dealing with you later.”

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Joke of the day – Gibberish

Doctor, doctor, my mom keeps putting me in the dustbin.

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Don’t talk rubbish!

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Joke of the day – Lavatory

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Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a lavatory.

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Hmmm….you do look a bit flushed!

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Joke of the day -Bucket

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bucket.

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Hmmm…you look a little pale.

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Joke of the day – Power puff

 

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A businesswoman explained to her doctor that she was always breaking wind at board meetings, during interviews, in lifts and on the tram.  It was impossible to control.

Businesswoman:  “But at least I am fortunate in two aspects – they neither smell nor make a noise.  In fact, you’ll be surprised to know it’s happened twice since I’ve been talking to you, Doc.”

Doctor:   (Scribbled a prescription and handed it to her)

Businesswoman: “What?  Nasal drops?

Doctor:  “Yes, we’ll fix your nose first and then we’ll have a go on your hearing.”

 

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