“It’s lonely at the top; but you do eat better.”
Joke of the day – Loneliness
“It’s lonely at the top; but you do eat better.”
Tag Archives: free jokes
Joke of the day – Prospective husband
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women.’
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Joke of the day – Whiskey diet
‘I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.’
Joke of the day – Chess enthusiasts
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ”But why?” they asked, as they moved off. ”because,” he said ”I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
Joke of the day – A bargain
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
Joke of the day – Two lines in heaven
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”
Joke of the day – Quiet as a mouse
Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
Joke of the day – Sleepwalking nun
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic.
Joke of the day – The chauffeur
A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur suggested an idea. “Hey, boss,” he said. “I’ve heard your speech so many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.”
“Sounds great,” the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur’s hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
“Yes,” said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment, but quickly recovered. “That’s an easy one,” he replied. “It’s so easy, I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it.”
Joke of the day – Married women vs single women
How come married women are heavier than single women?
A single woman goes home, sees what’s in the fridge and goes to bed.
A married woman sees what’s in bed and goes to the fridge.
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