4

Joke of the day – MisHOP

“There’s HARE in my sandwich. I want a reBUNd.”
6

Joke of the day – Third eye

“I’ve opened my third eye. I can see the truth now.”
2

Quote of the day – Rupi Kaur

“I want to remain so
rooted to the ground
these tears
these hands
these feet
sink in.”
– Rupi Kaur
8

Joke of the day – Branch

“Hi there! I’m the branch manager and
I’m training my new assistant branch manager.”
10

Joke of the day – Heaven

A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” 
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought! “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
She was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” she continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”

[Source: http://www.beliefnet.com]

0

Joke of the day – Comb

“Do you wanna comb over fur massage?”
4

Joke of the day – alONE

“I’m in soliTUBE, a peaceful place, away from all the chaos.”
10

Quote of the day – Rupi Kaur

“most importantly love
like it’s the only thing you know how
at the end of the day all this
means nothing
this page
where you’re sitting
your degree
your job
the money
nothing even matters
except love and human connection
who you loved
and how deeply you loved them
how you touched the people around you
and how much you gave them”
Rupi Kaur, Milk & Honey
2

Joke of the day – Melon

“I ain’t sure if I’m a melon flower but I sure feel like a melon bucks.”
4

Quote of the day – François de la Rochefoucauld

“To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.”
― François de la Rochefoucauld