“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”
– Frank Zappa
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – Loose conduct
“Loose conduct can quickly get you into tight places.”
Quote of the day – Robert Brault
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
– Robert Brault
Happiness is …
… being honest and unafraid to admit you were wrong.
Quote of the day – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Joke of the day – A healthy race
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a ‘head’ and the tomato was trying to ‘ketchup’!
Quote of the day – Lou Holtz
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
― Lou Holtz
Joke of the day – Life worth living
A group of people were having a party at the local pub. Suddenly, someone yelled “All the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
Quote of the day – Guy Finley
“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.”
– Guy Finley
Joke of the day – Doctor’s instructions
Lulu is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When she returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
Lulu nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” she replied.
