9

Joke of the day – Power puff

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A businesswoman explained to her doctor that she was always breaking wind at board meetings, during interviews, in lifts and on the tram. Β It was impossible to control.

Businesswoman: Β “But at least I am fortunate in two aspects – they neither smell nor make a noise. Β In fact, you’ll be surprised to know it’s happened twice since I’ve been talking to you, Doc.”

Doctor: Β  (Scribbled a prescription and handed it to her)

Businesswoman: “What? Β Nasal drops?

Doctor: Β “Yes, we’ll fix your nose first and then we’ll have a go on your hearing.”

 

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4

Unicorn & Pug – Sydelle

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A pug astronaut with his magical unicorn on a space adventure.

8

Joke of the day – Misalter

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I bought a packet of Epsom salt from the pharmacy.

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I poured the salt into an empty plastic container.

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And I askedΒ my 9-year old to write “Epsom Salt” on the container with a black marker.

ThisΒ is what she wrote:

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9

Joke of the day – Seagulls for sale

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A psychiatrist on holiday became fascinated withΒ aΒ simpleton who had set up a sign on the beach which stated “Seagulls for sale.“

Psychiatrist: “How much are the seagulls?”

Simpleton” “OnlyΒ a fiver each.”

Psychiatrist: “Okay, I’ll buy one.”

Simpleton: (Took the note and pointing skywards) “That’s your one, up there!”

 

 

4

Quote of the day – Arnold Palmer

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“The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.”

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– Arnold Palmer (1929 – 2016)

14

Joke of the day – Goldfish

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Two goldfish in a bowl talking:

Goldfish 1: “Do you believe in God?”

Goldfish 2: “Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?”

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13

Joke of the day – Adamant

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Teacher: Β “What is the meaning of adamant?”

Student: Β “The very first ant.”

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11

Quote of the day -Khaled Hosseini

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β€œChildren aren’t coloring books.

You don’t get to fill them with your favorite colors.”

― Khaled Hosseini

14

Joke of the day – Toilet roll

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Let’s keep rollin’