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Joke of the day – Short sermon

A minister preached a very short sermon.  He explained, “My dog got into my office and chewed up some of my notes.”
At the end of the service, a visitor asked, “If your dog ever has pups, please let my pastor have one of them.”

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Joke of the day – Trangression

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minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

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Joke of the day- Lesson on giving

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The town’s richest man met with the minister after the Sunday service. “Why does everyone call me cheap and stingy?” complained the man. “I’ve told everyone I’m leaving half my money to the church when I die.”

The minister nodded. “It reminds me of the story about the pig and cow. The cow was much loved by the farmer and his neighbours, while the pig was not popular at all. The pig could not understand this and asked the cow about it.

“How come you are so well-like cow? People say you’re generous and good because you give milk and butter and cream every day. But I give more than that. From me they get bacon and ham; they even pickle my feet. Yet I’m not popular and you are. “Why do you think that is?”

The cow replied, “Perhaps it’s because I give while I’m still alive.”

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Joke of the day – My family

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Bill: “My family is just like a nation. My wife is the minister of finance, my mum-in-law is minister of war and my daughter is foreign secretary.”

Sam: Sounds interesting. And what is your position?”

Bill: I’m the people. All I do is pay.”

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Joke of the day – eBusiness

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A corrupt minister used to write “NOT APPROVED” on all the papers that were sent to him by his assistants. He always left a significant space between NOT and APPROVED.

When the affected persons greased his palms, he would recall the file and just add an “E:” after NOT so that it became “NOTE: APPROVED”.

This was the beginning of eBusiness in Kenya.

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Joke of the day – Walking on water

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A priest, an evangelist, and a minister were in a boat in the middle of a pond fishing. None of them had caught anything all morning.

Then the evangelist stands up and says he needs to go to the bathroom so he climbs out of the boat and walks on the water to shore. He comes back ten minutes later the same way.

Then the minister decides he needs to go to the bathroom, too, so he climbs out of the boat and walks on the water to shore. He, too, comes back the same way ten minutes later.

The priest looks at both of them and decides that his faith is just as strong as his fishing buddies and that he can walk on water, too. He stands up and excuses himself. As he steps out, he makes a big splash down into the water.

The evangelist looks at the minister and says,“I suppose we should have told him where the rocks were.”