“Make your heart like a lake with a calm still surface and great depths of kindness.”
— Lao Tzu
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – The horrific accident
Lucy had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the police officer arrived.
“My goodness!” the officer gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” Lucy chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” Lucy began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Err, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”
Happiness is …
…be still and enjoy the silence!
Joke of the day – One night in Paris
One night in Paris, a tourist dropped into a sidewalk cafe late one night and, after a couple of drinks, realized he was the last person in the bar except for a chap sleeping at one of the tables.
The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill.“Would monsieur care for another drink?” asked the Frenchman.
“No thanks, I imagine you want to close up. Why don’t you send that other fellow home?”
“Well, I should,” said the Frenchman. Then, he added, “But each time I wake him up he asks for the bill and pays it again.”
Quote of the day – Paulo Coelho
“Tears are words that need to be written.”
– Paulo Coelho
Joke of the day – Bus fare
Conductor: “Full fare for the kid, he’s five.”
Mother: “How could he be five, I’ve only been married three years!”
Conductor: “Look lady, I take fares not confessions.”
Quote of the day – Bobbi Brown
“How I feel about myself is more important than how I look. Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin – that’s what makes you beautiful.”
– Bobbi Brown
Joke of the day – Love letters
Bernie: I wrote Mimi a letter every day for a year.
Jim: What happened?
Bernie: She married the mailman.
Quote of the day – Eleanor Roosevelt
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Joke of the day – Duck hunter
First hunter: How do you know you hit that duck?
Second hunter: Because I shot him in the foot and in the head at the same time.
First hunter: How could you possibly hit him in the foot and head at the same time?
Second hunter: He was scratching his head.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 