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Joke of the day – The chauffeur

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A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur suggested an idea. “Hey, boss,” he said. “I’ve heard your speech so many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.”

“Sounds great,” the scientist said.

When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur’s hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.

“Yes,” said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.

The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment, but quickly recovered. “That’s an easy one,” he replied. “It’s so easy, I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it.”

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Quote of the day – Mark Twain

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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

– Mark Twain

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Quote of the day – Kenji Miyazawa

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“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”

– Kenji Miyazawa

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Joke of the day – Married women vs single women

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How come married women are heavier than single women?

A single woman goes home, sees what’s in the fridge and goes to bed.
A married woman sees what’s in bed and goes to the fridge.

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Quote of the day – Alice Thomas Ellis

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“There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.”

– Alice Thomas Ellis

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Joke of the day – Snake in a bar

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A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Sorry, buddy. I can’t serve you.’

‘Why not?’ the snake asks.

‘Because you can’t hold your liquor.’

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Quote of the day – T. D. Jakes

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“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.”

― T.D. Jakes

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Quote of the day – David Tyson Gentry

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“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”

– David Tyson Gentry

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Happy Birthday, Newbloggycat!

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Today is Newbloggycat’s 1st birthday!

A warm thank you to all my bloggy friends/readers for making my blogging
experience so 1-derful.

May you always know love, peace and laughter! *(^___^)*

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Joke of the day – Politicians & diapers

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“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.”