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Quote of the day – Lao Tzu

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“If you are depressed, you live in the past;
If you are anxious, you live in the future;
But, if you are at peace, you live in the present.”

– Lao Tzu

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Joke of the day – Days off work

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Bert urgently needed a few days off work, but he knew the Boss would not allow him to take leave. He thought that maybe if he acted “CRAZY” then he would tell him to take a few days off.

So he hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. His co-worker, Bonnie asked him what he was doing? He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he’s “CRAZY” and give him a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked “What are you doing?” Bert told him he was a light bulb. He said “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days”.

He jumped down and walked out of the office. When Bonnie followed him, the Boss asked, “And, where do you think you’re going?”

She replied, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark!”

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Quote of the day – Plato

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

– Plato

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Joke of the day – Laundromat Sign

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Sign seen in a laundromat:

AUOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

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Quote of the day – Deepak Chopra

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“The healthiest response to life is joy.”

– Deepak Chopra

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Quote of the day – Jenna Dee

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“Change will happen when the time is right.” – Jenna Dee

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Joke of the day – Rabbi and Priest

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Priest: Rabbi, when are you going to break down and eat ham?

Rabbi: At your wedding, Father.

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Joke of the day – First job

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A young man hired by a supermarket reported his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a university graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”

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Quote of the day – George Bernard Shaw

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“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing”

– George Bernard Shaw