Priest: Rabbi, when are you going to break down and eat ham?
Rabbi: At your wedding, Father.
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – First job
A young man hired by a supermarket reported his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a university graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
Quote of the day – George Bernard Shaw
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing”
– George Bernard Shaw
Joke of the day – Science lesson
Teacher: What is a comet?
Julie: A star with a tail.
Teacher. Very good. Can you name one?
Julie: Lassie!
Joke of the day – Cat Presidents
How many cats have been elected President of the United States?
Thomeows Jefferson
Grow-fur Cleveland
James Meowonroe
Hairy S. Truman
Jimmy Catter
Dwight D. Eisenmeower
And, of course – James A. Garfield!
Quote of the day – Margaret Atwood
“I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one “race” – the human race and that we are all members of it.”
– Margaret Atwood
Joke of the day – Store sign
Sign in a Volksvagen dealership:
‘OUR STORE HAS BUGS’
Quote of the day – Abraham Lincoln
“What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Quote of the day – Dr. Seuss
“I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, others come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.”
– Dr. Seuss
Joke of the day – Financial statement
Two friends were discussing the difficulty of making ends meet.
“With my current income, I’m having a hard time keeping my head above water,” John commented.
“Head above water!” Bert said. “I’m looking for a longer snorkel.”
