Tag Archives: clean jokes
Joke of the day – Carrot
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, I have a carrot growing on my head.”
Doctor: “Amazing! How could that have happened?”
Patient: “I don’t understand it – I planted watermelons there!”
Joke of the day – Obsession
If you are always straightening things, you have OCD.
If you are always eating things, you have OBCD.
Joke of the day – Dog show
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Joke of the day – Gnome
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears.
Cat: “What are you?”
Gnome: “A gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?”
Cat: “Errr, I’m a gnome too!”
Joke of the day -Fleas
What do you call the fleas on the parrot?
Politics.
Joke of the day – Beans
A teacher asked her Year 1 students to write a sentence with the word “beans.”
John: “My father grows beans.“
Mary: “My mother cooks beans.”
Timmy: “We are all human beans.“
Joke of the day – License
Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?
Cats can’t drive!
Joke of the day – What’s the fuss?
I mustache you to stop staring at me.
Joke of the day – Democat v Republicat
Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child.
Al Gore: “What’s in the box, kid?”
Little boy: “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”
Al Gore: “What kind of kittens are they?”
Little boy: “Democrats,”
Al Gore: “Oh, that’s cute.”
A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Al says to Bill, “You gotta check this out,” and they both jog over to the boy with the box.
Al Gore: “Look in the box Bill, isn’t that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are.”
Little boy: “They’re Republicans.”
Al Gore: “Whoa! I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What’s up?”
Little Boy: “Well, their eyes are open now.”
[Source: http://www.jokes4us.com]
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