An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an old crone, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl.
“Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.”
“No, not me,” said the girl. “It’s my old aunt here.”
“Very well… Madam, put your tongue out.”
“Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says βIf an emergency, notify:β I put βDOCTORβ. Whatβs my mother going to do?”
Mrs Jones: What is your son doing?
Mrs Smith: He is in medical school.
Mrs Jones: What is he studying?
Mrs Smith: Nothing. They’re studying him.
Jim took his Saint Bernard to the vet.
“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
The vet stepped back, “Jim, why should I do such a terrible thing?”
“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
Lulu is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When she returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
Lulu nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” she replied.
There was an elderly man visiting a doctor for his check-up. As he was leaving he asked the doctor if he could recommend a specialist for his wife. “What’s wrong with her?” asked the doctor. The old man explained that her hearing was getting so bad that it was almost embarrassing. The doctor said he knew of several specialists that could help but he wanted the old man to do a little test when he got home to help the doctor determine the severity of her hearing loss. The doctor said “When you get home, make sure your wife’s back is turned to you and ask her a question. If she doesn’t respond walk closer and ask her again. Keep doing this until she answers and let me know the results”.
That night when the old man opened the door of his home he could see his wife in the kitchen preparing dinner. She was at the counter with her back to the door. “What’s for dinner?” the old man asked. His wife did not respond so he walks to the doorway of the kitchen and asked the question again. Still, he was greeted with silence. This time he walks up just behind her and asks once again “What’s for dinner?” His wife spins around a bit agitated and says “For the third time, Fried Chicken!!”
A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked, “Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
The civil engineer interrupted and said, “But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled and said confidently, “Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 