“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversations as a dog does.”
– Christopher Morley
Tag Archives: dogs
Joke of the day – Dogs rules for Christmas
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
a. Don’t pee on the tree.
b. Don’t drink water in the container that holds the tree.
c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree.
d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don’t rip them open.
e. Don’t chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans.
b. Don’t eat off the buffet table.
c. Beg for goodies subtly.
d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa.
e. Don’t drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
a.Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people’s houses. (4a is particularly important)
b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house.
c. Tolerate children.
d. Turn on your charm big time.
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON’T BITE HIM!!
Joke of the day – Beware of dog
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a warning sign that read: “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the door. Inside, he noticed a harmless little dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” came the reply.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
Happiness is …
… a perfect spot!
Happiness is …
… a fresh yummy hotdog!
Joke of the day – The zoo
“Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shihtzu.”
Quote of the day – Robert A. Heinlein
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
Happiness is …
… a perfect meatloaf!
Joke of the day – Second opinion
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.” The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black Labrador retriever. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says,
“I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”
“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.
Happiness is …
… ice cold beer on a hot day!
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 