“Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shihtzu.”
Tag Archives: humor
Quote of the day – Charles Schulz
“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.”
– Charles Schulz
Joke of the day – Saying grace
A couple invited some co-workers to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
“Would you like to say grace?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mom say”, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
Joke of the day – Theater ticket
On a visit to the local theater, an elderly man asked for the admission prices.
“Balcony seats are $15 each, circle seats are $10 each, stalls are $5 each and the programs are 50 cents, sir,” replied the lady behind the ticket counter.
“Right,” said the elderly man. “Give me a program and I’ll sit on it.”
Joke of the day – Simple math
Teacher: “If I laid two eggs on the chair and three eggs on the table, what do I get?”
Pupil: Your picture in “Believe It or Not!”
Quote of the day – Benjamin Franklin
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
– Benjamin Franklin
Joke of the day – The Italian woman
My friend was stocking the shelves in a shop where he worked when a woman with a distinctive Italian accent asked him, “Please, sir. Where can I find a water go spaghetti stop?”
Puzzled, my friend paid close attention as she repeated her request, this time adding hand gestures. Then it dawned on him what she wanted. He led her to another aisle and found a “water go, spaghetti stop” – a colander.
Happiness is …
… a perfect meatloaf!
Joke of the day – The part-time helper
I hired a part-time helper last year but she wasn’t doing a great job. So, one day I called her into the study and told that I was sorry but I have to let her go. I tipped her an extra $20 and thanked her for her services. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Bobby. I asked her, “What was that for?” She replied, “Can’t forget my helper! Bobby has a great tongue, and always help me do the dishes!!!”
Quote of the day – Frank Zappa
“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa
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