When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a light pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver.
A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.”
The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”
An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.
The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman replies, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”.
A corrupt minister used to write “NOT APPROVED” on all the papers that were sent to him by his assistants. He always left a significant space between NOT and APPROVED.
When the affected persons greased his palms, he would recall the file and just add an “E:” after NOT so that it became “NOTE: APPROVED”.
This was the beginning of eBusiness in Kenya.
A manager of an electronics shop ordered a part number 669, from the factory. When it arrived, he noticed they’d sent him part 699 instead. He fired off an angry letter and sent it back. A few days later, he got the replacement. It was the same part, along with a note containing these four words: TURN THE BOX OVER.
An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral.
“I have 150 horses,” says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money.
A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest.
“Wouldn’t you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us?” asks the bank manager.
The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank.
“How many horses you got?”
Dear Monday, I want to break up. I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry, it’s not me — it’s you!
Puzzled about his first lesson on evolution, young Joey arrived home and said, “Mum is it really true that I’m a descendant of apes, monkeys and gorillas?”
“I don’t really know, darling.” she replied. “I never knew any of your father’s family.”
… a pretty pink scooter.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 