Joke of the day – Dog cemetery

April 26, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Epitaph in a dog cemetery:

“He never met a man he didn’t lick.”

Joke of the day – Time to live

April 25, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Jim: “The doctor gave me two weeks to live.”

Sam: “Goodness, what did you say?”

Jim: “I told him I’d take the first two weeks of December.”

Joke of the day – Model husband

April 12, 2014 | Newbloggycat

In seeking a model husband, it’s wise to be sure he’s a working model.

Joke of the day – Hearing aids

April 8, 2014 | Newbloggycat

An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.

The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

To which the gentleman replies, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”.

Joke of the day – Apache

April 1, 2014 | Newbloggycat

An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral.

“I have 150 horses,” says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money.

A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest.

“Wouldn’t you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us?” asks the bank manager.

The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank.

“How many horses you got?”

Joke of the day – Monday blues

March 31, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Dear Monday, I want to break up. I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry, it’s not me — it’s you!

Joke of the day – Evolution

March 29, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Puzzled about his first lesson on evolution, young Joey arrived home and said, “Mum is it really true that I’m a descendant of apes, monkeys and gorillas?”

“I don’t really know, darling.” she replied. “I never knew any of your father’s family.”