What did one candle say to the other?
I’ll be going out tonight.
Tag Archives: short funny jokes
Joke of the day – Life worth living
A group of people were having a party at the local pub. Suddenly, someone yelled “All the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
Joke of the day – Vegetarians
“Vegetarians, if you love animals so much then why do you keep eating all their food?”
Joke of the day – Report card
Boy to father: “This my report card Dad and here is one of yours I found in the attic.”
Joke of the day – A big crab
First sailor: “A big crab just bit off one of my toes.”
Second sailor: “Really? Which one?”
First sailor: “How do I know? All crabs look alike.”
Joke of the day – Salary increment
Young man to his boss: “Mr Smith, my mother told me to ask you for a raise.”
Mr Smith: “Okay, I’ll ask my mother if I may give it to you.”
Joke of the day – The zoo
“Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shihtzu.”
Joke of the day – Grandma
A little boy asked his grandma how old she was.
“39 and holding,” she replied.
“Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?”
Joke of the day – Starbucks
“When I went to Starbucks for coffee they lied. It wasn’t Starbucks, it was four bucks!”
Joke of the day – The parking incident
The old gent was backing his Rolls into the last available parking space when a zippy red sports car whipped in behind him to take the spot. The young man jumped out and said, “Sorry Pops, but you’ve got to be young and smart to do that.”
The old man ignored the remark and kept reversing until the Rolls had crunched the sports car into a crumpled heap. “Sorry son, you’ve got to be old and rich to do that!”
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