7

Joke of the day – Octopus

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How does an octopus go into battle?

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Well armed!

 

 

9

Joke of the day – Power puff

 

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A businesswoman explained to her doctor that she was always breaking wind at board meetings, during interviews, in lifts and on the tram.  It was impossible to control.

Businesswoman:  “But at least I am fortunate in two aspects – they neither smell nor make a noise.  In fact, you’ll be surprised to know it’s happened twice since I’ve been talking to you, Doc.”

Doctor:   (Scribbled a prescription and handed it to her)

Businesswoman: “What?  Nasal drops?

Doctor:  “Yes, we’ll fix your nose first and then we’ll have a go on your hearing.”

 

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8

Joke of the day – Misalter

I bought a packet of Epsom salt from the pharmacy.

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I poured the salt into an empty plastic container.

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And I asked my 9-year old to write “Epsom Salt” on the container with a black marker.

This is what she wrote:

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9

Joke of the day – Seagulls for sale

 

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A psychiatrist on holiday became fascinated with a simpleton who had set up a sign on the beach which stated “Seagulls for sale.

Psychiatrist: “How much are the seagulls?”

Simpleton” “Only a fiver each.”

Psychiatrist: “Okay, I’ll buy one.”

Simpleton: (Took the note and pointing skywards) “That’s your one, up there!”

 

 

14

Joke of the day – Goldfish

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:

Goldfish 1: “Do you believe in God?”

Goldfish 2: “Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?”

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13

Joke of the day – Adamant

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Teacher:  “What is the meaning of adamant?”

Student:  “The very first ant.”

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14

Joke of the day – Toilet roll

Let’s keep rollin’

7

Joke of the day – Hoodwink

Judge:  “How could you swindle these good people who trusted you so?”

Con man:  “Your Honor, you can’t swindle people who don’t trust you.”

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6

Joke of the day – Animal chat

Koala: “What do you mean, I’m not a bear? I have all the koalafications.”

Elephant: “Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.”

Lion: “Don’t listen to him! He’s lion!”

Bear: “This arguing is becoming unbearable!”

[Souce: http://www.unijokes.com]
8

Joke of the day – Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty was a cannon, not an egg?

But I think Humpty Dumpty was really a teapot!

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[Pictures from http://www.pinterest.com]

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