I have finally figured out why babies suck their thumbs. I tried some of the baby food.
Tag Archives: very funny jokes
Joke of the day – Big steak
An overweight lady had an enormous steak on her plate. Her husband took one look at it and said, ‘Surely you are not going to eat that alone?”
“Of course not. I’ve just ordered some potatoes.”
Joke of the day – Narrow mind
Seen on a church sign:
“A narrow mind is usually accompanied by a wide mouth.”
Joke of the day – Plumber
The plumber finally arrived. “How have you managed?”
“Not too badly,” said the housewife, “while we were waiting for you I’ve taught the kids how to swim.”
Joke of the day – Favorite movie
What is a cat’s favorite movie?
The Sound of Mew-sic!
Joke of the day – Who is it?
An elderly lady approached the pearly gates and knocked.
“Who is it?” asked St. Peter.
“It is I,” came the reply.
“Oh no,” muttered St. Peter. “Not another school teacher.”
Joke of the day – Pilot
Air traffic control: “Identify yourself and what is your height and position?”
Pilot: “I’m Captain Steve Murphy. I’m five feet four and I’d be sitting up the front.”
Joke of the day – Biology lesson
Biology teacher: What kind of birds do we keep in captivity?
Lucy: Jail birds, Miss!
Joke of the day – Sleep
Joe: Do you go to sleep on your left side or your right side?
Moe: Both sides. All of me goes to sleep at once.
Joke of the day – Lecture on economy
Two husbands leaning on the bar.
“Did you give your wife a lecture on economy like I told you?”
“Yes, I certainly did.”
“And what was the result?”
“I’ve got to give up smoking.”
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