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Joke of the day – HELP! …

… I’ve been framed!

shaye_with_frame

Huge Facebook Chat Laughing

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Joke of the day – Gift exchange

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My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework.

One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with _________.”

His response: “Receipts.”

Elf with gifts

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Joke of the day – Short form

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Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

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Joke of the day – Wrong lane

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“When everything’s coming your way,  you’re in the wrong lane.”

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Joke of the day – Brake fluid

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“I’m addicted to brake fluid,
but I can stop whenever I want.”

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Joke of the day – Music shop

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A sign at a music shop:
“Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”

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Joke of the day – Porsche for sale

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A woman offered a brand-new Porsche for sale for a price of $10.
A man answered the ad, but he was slightly incredulous.
“What’s the gimmick?” he inquired.
“No gimmick” the woman replied.
“My husband died and in his will he asked that the car be sold
and the money go to his secretary.”

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Joke of the day – Puppies for sale

images_alaskan_husky_puppies

“For sale: Nine adorable puppies from a German shepherd and a Siberian hussy.”

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Joke of the day – Pizza

Pizza Chef

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.

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Joke of the day- Lesson on giving

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The town’s richest man met with the minister after the Sunday service. “Why does everyone call me cheap and stingy?” complained the man. “I’ve told everyone I’m leaving half my money to the church when I die.”

The minister nodded. “It reminds me of the story about the pig and cow. The cow was much loved by the farmer and his neighbours, while the pig was not popular at all. The pig could not understand this and asked the cow about it.

“How come you are so well-like cow? People say you’re generous and good because you give milk and butter and cream every day. But I give more than that. From me they get bacon and ham; they even pickle my feet. Yet I’m not popular and you are. “Why do you think that is?”

The cow replied, “Perhaps it’s because I give while I’m still alive.”