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Quote of the day – Pearl S. Buck

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“I love people. I love my family, my children… but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.”

-Pearl S. Buck

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Joke of the day – Dogs rules for Christmas

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1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:

a. Don’t pee on the tree.

b. Don’t drink water in the container that holds the tree.

c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree.

d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don’t rip them open.

e. Don’t chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:

a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans.

b. Don’t eat off the buffet table.

c. Beg for goodies subtly.

d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa.

e. Don’t drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:

a.Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people’s houses. (4a is particularly important)

b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house.

c. Tolerate children.

d. Turn on your charm big time.

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON’T BITE HIM!!

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Quote of the day – Alice Thomas Ellis

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“There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.”

– Alice Thomas Ellis

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Quote of the day – Marilyn Penland

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“Sing out loud in the car even, or especially if it embarrasses your children.”

– Marilyn Penland

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Joke of the day – The sleepy dog

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One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.

I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.

This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”

The next day he arrived with a response pinned to his collar: “We have ten children – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”

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Happiness is …

My gorgeous 4-month old nephew ;)

My gorgeous 4-month old nephew 😉

… looking like little buddha and 100% cute!

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Joke of the day – Be quiet

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A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

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Joke of the day – Lesson on evolution

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The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy.

TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay.(He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER: Did you see God?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there! He doesn’t exist.

A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked:

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?

TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

TOMMY: No

LITTLE GIRL: Then based on what we were taught today, she does not have one!