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Tag Archives: funny clean jokes
Joke of the day – Work smart
Always give 100% at work:
12% Monday,
23% Tuesday,
40% Wednesday,
20% Thursday,
5% Friday
Joke of the day – The little turtle
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Honey,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Joke of the day – Fire sale
Salesman to Customer: This is actually a fire sale.
My boss said if I don’t make a sale, I’m fired.
Joke of the day – Charity
A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call.
“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”
The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”
“Um, no,” mumbled the director.
“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?”
“I … I … I had no idea.”
“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”
Joke of the day – Prodigious
What’s more amazing than a talking dog is a spelling bee.
Joke of the day – Opportunist
Dear Optimist & Pessimist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water,
I drank it.
~ Opportunist
Joke of the day – Book critic
“I read your new book.” said the snobbish critic to the author.
“Who wrote it for you?”
“Who read it for you?” he replied.
Joke of the day – Cavity
A cavity is an empty space waiting to be filled with dentist bills.
Joke of the day – Bathtub
A farmer and his son were on a train headed for their first visit to the city when a priest hobbled into their compartment on crutches, with his foot in plaster.
“Slipped in the bathtub,” he explained.
When the priest got out at the next station the son said, “What’s a bathtub, Dad?”
“I dunno son, I’m not a Catholic.”
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