Joke of the day – Laughing stock

January 30, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

― Steven Wright.

Joke of the day – The snail

January 29, 2014 | Newbloggycat

A snail entered a police station and told an officer, “I just got mugged by two turtles. They beat me up and took all my money!”

The officer replied, “Why that’s terrible. Did you get a good look at them?”

“No sir, it all happened so fast!”

Joke of the day – Don’t talk to the parrot

January 27, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Randy the dishwasher repairman was given specific instructions concerning the woman’s two pets. “The Rottweiler won’t hurt you, even though it looks fierce, but whatever you do, don’t talk to the parrot.”

Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly the whole time.

“Wow, you’re pretty fat,” the bird would say. “Hey, fatso, you couldn’t change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix a dishwasher.”

Before long, Randy had had enough. “You know, bird, you think you’re pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea.”

The parrot was silent for a moment, and then, with a gleam in its eye, said, “All right. Get him, Spike.”

– Terry Boas

Joke of the day – Black & White

January 25, 2014 | Newbloggycat

What’s black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.

Joke of the day – Secondhand shop

January 23, 2014 | Newbloggycat

Outside a secondhand shop:
“We exchange everything — bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.”

Joke of the day – Rock band

January 21, 2014 | Newbloggycat

I used to be in a rock band, we were called ‘Lost Dog’. You probably saw our posters.

Joke of the day – Husband vs dog

January 20, 2014 | Newbloggycat

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Joke of the day – The Prince

January 17, 2014 | Newbloggycat

A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: “Berlin is wonderful, people are friendly and I really like it here, but I’m a bit ashamed to arrive in school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train.”

Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: “Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.”