Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women.’
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Tag Archives: good jokes
Joke of the day – Whiskey diet
‘I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.’
Joke of the day – A bargain
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
Joke of the day – Two lines in heaven
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”
Joke of the day – Quiet as a mouse
Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
Joke of the day – The chauffeur
A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur suggested an idea. “Hey, boss,” he said. “I’ve heard your speech so many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.”
“Sounds great,” the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur’s hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
“Yes,” said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment, but quickly recovered. “That’s an easy one,” he replied. “It’s so easy, I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it.”
Joke of the day – Married women vs single women
How come married women are heavier than single women?
A single woman goes home, sees what’s in the fridge and goes to bed.
A married woman sees what’s in bed and goes to the fridge.
Joke of the day – Snake in a bar
A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Sorry, buddy. I can’t serve you.’
‘Why not?’ the snake asks.
‘Because you can’t hold your liquor.’
Joke of the day – Politicians & diapers
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.”
Joke of the day – Baby camel
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three-toe feet?” The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.” “OK,” said the son.
A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?” “They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert.” “Thanks Mom,” replies the son.
After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??” The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, “They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods.”
“That’s great Mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom…” “Yes, son?” “Why are we in San Diego zoo?”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 