A couple invited some co-workers to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
“Would you like to say grace?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mom say”, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
Teacher: “If I laid two eggs on the chair and three eggs on the table, what do I get?”
Pupil: Your picture in “Believe It or Not!”
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,
“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
A little boy asked his grandma how old she was.
“39 and holding,” she replied.
“Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?”
The mother was furious. “Sam!” – she yelled. “Why are you making such awful faces at your bulldog?”
“Well, Mom, he started it!”
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
“What are you doing?” his mother asked.
“The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained.
“I’m looking for the seal.”
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mom, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Dad, I have to whisper.”
The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”
English teacher: ‘Jim, give me a sentence with the word “counterfeit” in it.’
Jim: ‘I wasn’t sure if she was a centipede or a millipede, so I had to count her feet.’
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy.
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay.(He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there! He doesn’t exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then based on what we were taught today, she does not have one!
…wearing a pair of oversize sneakers.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 