Patience is the ability to “count down” before “blasting off.”
Tag Archives: very funny jokes
Joke of the day – Chemistry professor
What kind of dog would a chemistry professor have?
A laboratory-retriever.
Joke of the day – Heart of gold
People will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold but so does a hard-boiled egg.
Joke of the day – Pickpocket
Pickpocket’s job title:
Self-Employed Public Fund Raiser
Joke of the day – Vacuum salesman
A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady’s cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, “If this new vacuum doesn’t pick up every bit of dirt then I’ll eat all the dirt.”
The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, “Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?”
Joke of the day – House cleaning
Tim: Boss, we’re doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.
Boss: We’re short-handed, Tim. I can’t give you the day off.
Tim: Thanks, boss. I knew I could count on you!.
Joke of the day – Football
Football is a game in which 22 men from two teams run around for about two hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise.
Joke of the day – Second-hand car dealer
Inspector: “Don’t you know you can’t sell second-hand cars without a license?”
Car dealer: “Thanks, I knew I wasn’t selling any, but I didn’t know the reason.”
Joke of the day – Curiosity
A bright eye indicates curiosity and a black eye indicates too much curiosity.
Joke of the day – Pray before eating
The Sunday School teacher asks, “Now, Julie, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
“No ma’am,” little Julie replies, “I don’t have to. My mum is a good cook.”
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