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Joke of the day – Turn heads

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The most effective way to turn people’s heads is to go to church late.

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Joke of the day – Operation

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A patient walked into a doctor’s office and was told he needed an operation.

He asked, “What’s the operation for?”

The doctor said, “Five thousand dollars.”

The patient said, “No, I meant, what’s the reason?”

The doctor said, “I told you – five thousand dollars!”

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“I offer you peace.
I offer you love.
I offer you friendship.
I see your beauty.
I hear your need.
I feel your feelings.
My wisdom flows from the highest Source.
I salute that Source in you.
Let us work together for unity and peace.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

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Joke of the day – Successful salesman

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Rookie: How did you become such a successful door-to-door salesman?

Salesman: It’s all because of the first five words I utter when a woman opens the door. “Miss, is your mother in?”

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Joke of the day – Music

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Is it possible to stretch music so that it will last a little longer?

Yes, if you have a rubber band.

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Joke of the day – Beagle

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Bob: I used to think I was a beagle. But the psychiatrist cured me.

Bill: How are you now?

Bob: Great! Just feel my nose.

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“If you love someone, you must be prepared to set them free.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Winner Stands Alone

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“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

― Vicki Harrison