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Joke of the day – HELP! …

… I’ve been framed!

shaye_with_frame

Huge Facebook Chat Laughing

1

Joke of the day – Gift exchange

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My friend reviewed her young sonโ€™s fill-in-the-blank homework.

One line: โ€œAt Christmas, we exchange gifts with _________.โ€

His response: โ€œReceipts.โ€

Elf with gifts

1

Joke of the day – Short form

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Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

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Joke of the day – Wrong lane

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“When everything’s coming your way,ย  you’re in the wrong lane.”

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Joke of the day – Brake fluid

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“I’m addicted to brake fluid,
but I can stop whenever I want.”

13

Joke of the day – Music shop

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A sign at a music shop:
โ€œGone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.โ€

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Joke of the day – Porsche for sale

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A woman offered a brand-new Porsche for sale for a price of $10.
A man answered the ad, but he was slightly incredulous.
โ€œWhatโ€™s the gimmick?โ€ he inquired.
โ€œNo gimmickโ€ the woman replied.
โ€œMy husband died and in his will he asked that the car be sold
and the money go to his secretary.โ€

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Joke of the day – Pizza

Pizza Chef

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, itโ€™s pretty cheesy.

images_pizza_clipart

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Joke of the day- Lesson on giving

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The townโ€™s richest man met with the minister after the Sunday service. โ€œWhy does everyone call me cheap and stingy?โ€ complained the man. โ€œIโ€™ve told everyone Iโ€™m leaving half my money to the church when I die.โ€

The minister nodded. โ€œIt reminds me of the story about the pig and cow. The cow was much loved by the farmer and his neighbours, while the pig was not popular at all. The pig could not understand this and asked the cow about it.

โ€œHow come you are so well-like cow? People say youโ€™re generous and good because you give milk and butter and cream every day. But I give more than that. From me they get bacon and ham; they even pickle my feet. Yet Iโ€™m not popular and you are. โ€œWhy do you think that is?โ€

The cow replied, “Perhaps itโ€™s because I give while Iโ€™m still alive.โ€

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Joke of the day – My family

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Bill: “My family is just like a nation. My wife is the minister of finance, my mum-in-law is minister of war and my daughter is foreign secretary.”

Sam: Sounds interesting. And what is your position?”

Bill: I’m the people. All I do is pay.”