Teacher: What is a comet?
Julie: A star with a tail.
Teacher. Very good. Can you name one?
Julie: Lassie!
Tag Archives: free jokes
Joke of the day – Store sign
Sign in a Volksvagen dealership:
‘OUR STORE HAS BUGS’
Joke of the day – Financial statement
Two friends were discussing the difficulty of making ends meet.
“With my current income, I’m having a hard time keeping my head above water,” John commented.
“Head above water!” Bert said. “I’m looking for a longer snorkel.”
Joke of the day – Medical school
Mrs Jones: What is your son doing?
Mrs Smith: He is in medical school.
Mrs Jones: What is he studying?
Mrs Smith: Nothing. They’re studying him.
Joke of the day – Beware of dog
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a warning sign that read: “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the door. Inside, he noticed a harmless little dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” came the reply.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
Joke of the day – A healthy race
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a ‘head’ and the tomato was trying to ‘ketchup’!
Joke of the day – Doctor’s instructions
Lulu is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When she returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
Lulu nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” she replied.
Joke of the day – Vegetarians
“Vegetarians, if you love animals so much then why do you keep eating all their food?”
Joke of the day – Report card
Boy to father: “This my report card Dad and here is one of yours I found in the attic.”
Joke of the day – A big crab
First sailor: “A big crab just bit off one of my toes.”
Second sailor: “Really? Which one?”
First sailor: “How do I know? All crabs look alike.”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 