Bill: How much are they asking for your apartment rent now?
Tim: About twice a day.
Tag Archives: good clean jokes
Joke of the day – Dog cemetery
Epitaph in a dog cemetery:
“He never met a man he didn’t lick.”
Joke of the day – Time to live
Jim: “The doctor gave me two weeks to live.”
Sam: “Goodness, what did you say?”
Jim: “I told him I’d take the first two weeks of December.”
Joke of the day – Model husband
In seeking a model husband, it’s wise to be sure he’s a working model.
Joke of the day – First aid
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a light pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver.
A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.”
The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”
Joke of the day – Hearing aids
An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.
The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman replies, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”.
Joke of the day – eBusiness
A corrupt minister used to write “NOT APPROVED” on all the papers that were sent to him by his assistants. He always left a significant space between NOT and APPROVED.
When the affected persons greased his palms, he would recall the file and just add an “E:” after NOT so that it became “NOTE: APPROVED”.
This was the beginning of eBusiness in Kenya.
Joke of the day – Spare part
A manager of an electronics shop ordered a part number 669, from the factory. When it arrived, he noticed they’d sent him part 699 instead. He fired off an angry letter and sent it back. A few days later, he got the replacement. It was the same part, along with a note containing these four words: TURN THE BOX OVER.
Joke of the day – Monday blues
Dear Monday, I want to break up. I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry, it’s not me — it’s you!
Joke of the day – Evolution
Puzzled about his first lesson on evolution, young Joey arrived home and said, “Mum is it really true that I’m a descendant of apes, monkeys and gorillas?”
“I don’t really know, darling.” she replied. “I never knew any of your father’s family.”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 