“Our Father, who does art in heaven.”
“Howard be thy name.”
“Give us this day our jelly bread.”
“Lead a snot into temptation.”
“And deliver us from eagles.”
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Tag Archives: heaven
Remembering my dad
Sixteen years ago today, my dad passed away. Recently, we said goodbye to my beloved aunt and it’s comforting to know that my dad was reunited with his beloved sister in heaven.
My message to my dad this anniversary is:
“Hi Dad, I can’t believe it’s been 16 years since you were gone. We are all imperfect. While on earth you had much pain and struggles yet you were honest, kind and generous and that’s perfectly you. And I believe you were at peace with your past and is now resting in eternal peace.
I wish you could stay longer to meet your beautiful grandchildren. But I know you are watching over them from heaven. You’ll live in our hearts till we meet again. ~Love always, Pat (β‘ α½
β‘ α½
)Κβ‘“
Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity.
βTerri Guillemets
Joke of the day – One day in Hell
A politician dies and appearsΒ in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.
Saint Peter:Β “So, you’re a politician…”
Politician:Β βYes, is that a problem?β
Saint Peter: β Oh no, no problem.Β But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!”
Politician: “Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?!”
Saint Peter:Β “Those are the rules.”
(St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappears)
Later the politician awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell.
Satan:Β “Open your eyes! We’ve only got 24 hours!”
The politician nervously, uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini.
Politician: “Who are you??”
Satan:Β “Well, I’m Satan! Welcome to Hellβ (handing him the drink and helping him to his feet).
Politician:Β “Wait, this is Hell? But…whereβs all the pain and suffering?”Β
Satan:Β “Oh, we’ve been a bit misrepresented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outsideβ¦..”
(After 24-hours, the politician is woken up by St Peter).
Politician:Β “So, that was Hell.
Saint Peter: βWasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?” So then, you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on.”
Politician: “Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell,”
Saint Peter:Β “Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!” (And clicks his fingers again)
The politician wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other.
Politician: “What’s this? Where’s the hotel? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???”
Satan: “Ahhh, you see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted.”
[Source: http://www.sunnyskyz.com]
Comforting words
Comforting words from my daughters:
“Zap was such an angel and angels live in heaven. Β Monster will take care of him. Β We will think of the happy momentsΒ with Zap” – SydelleΒ
Β “Don’t be sad, Mom. Β Monster will be there for Zap. Β You need to find your happy place.” – ShayeΒ
A Special Place
You have a special place Dear Lord
that I know you’ll always keep
A special place reserved for dogs
when they quietly fall asleep
With large and airy kennels
and a yard for hiding bones
With maybe a little babbling creek
that chatters over stones.
With wide green fields and flowers
for those who never knew
about running freely under
Your sky of perfect blue.
Lord,I know You keep this Special Place
And so to you I Pray,
For one Special Rottweiler puppy
Who quietly died today
HeΒ was full of strength & love
and so very, very cute.
HeΒ is dearly missed my Lord
By a very good friend of mine.
HeΒ went to join hisΒ ancestors
To Your land that is Devine
So, speak to ZapΒ softly please
And give himΒ a warm hello.
He’sΒ a Special gift to you Dear Lord
From Pat, Jan, Sydelle and Shaye, who loved himΒ so.
RIP our beautiful angel!
Original poem by Jan Cooper 1994
Β Β Β
Joke of the day – The pathetic lawyer
The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins:
1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew it was guilty.
2).Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case.
3) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high.
4) Overcharging fees to many clients.
And the list went on for quite awhile.
The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, “Wait, I’ve done some charity in my life also.” St. Peter looks in his book and says,“Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?”
The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, “Yes.”
St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, “Give this guy 15 cents and tell him to go to hell.”
Joke of the day – Dog’s letter to heaven
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven,
can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Love,
Rover
“Perhaps they are not stars but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones shines down to let us know they are happy.”
β Eskimo Proverb
In memory of my dad who breathed his last in my arms 14 years ago. (26.8.1932 – 7.1.2001)
Goodbye Monster, our beautiful Rottweiler
You’ll always be our guardian angel β(Λβ½Λ)βAdopted when he was about 6 months old on 18/03/2004
Departed at approximately 7.30 pm on 02/10/2014
“Still can’t believe you’re gone. You were always vibrant and full of funny antics.
We miss you more than you ever know. Please say ‘Hi’ to Mylo for us.
RIP Monster. We love you always. You’ll be in our hearts forever.”
Sydelle said you’re so special because you were such a happy dog.
You were a great football player. David Beckham would have been impressed.
Always protective over Sydelle & Shaye
A big hug for a big boy.
Sorry I’ve to add one of your outrageous antics…
…and here’s another one!
Always agile and a daddy’s boy till the very end.
Here’s a photo taken just for you by Shaye and a lovely poem below to let you know how we really feel.Rest now our beautiful furry friend.
Goodbye (by John Quealy)
With heavy hearts; and a tear in our eyes
after all these years; we must say goodbye
Please understand; we’ve done all we could
if there was anything we could do; you know we would
I’m sitting right here; gently rub your ears
while I talk to you softly; trying to hold back the tears
The memories you gave us; we’ll never forget
especially the ones; of the day we all met
One last hug; and one last kiss
you have no idea; how much you’ll be missed
To look into your eyes; this one last time
you tell me it’s ok; you know it’s your time
Close your eyes now; and go to sleep
we’ll pray to the Lord; your soul he’ll keep
Go in peace now; our good friend
we’ll stay right here with you; until the end
Dream of that special day and time
when we’ll meet at the Bridge; and all will be fine
We’ll run and play; side by side
with a soft warm feeling; deep down inside
Your memory will live on; in each one of us
you’ll always be number 1; to all of us
Have a safe journey; through the night
I promise when you awake; you’ll be in God’s light
So with heavy hearts; and tears in our eyes
just for now my friend; we say goodbye
Joke of the day – Two lines in heaven
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.β
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, βYou men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?β
And the man replied, βI donβt know, my wife told me to stand here.β
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