Clip art by Foca.tk
Can you telephone from a submarine?
Of course, anybody can tell a phone from a submarine.
Joke of the day – Submarine
Tag Archives: humour
Joke of the day – Models wanted ad
“PHOTOGRAPHER setting up own business need models, as sleeping or active partners.”
Joke of the day – Essay
Teacher: That essay on the dog is exactly word for word, same as your brother’s.
Student: Of course, ma’am, it’s the same dog!
Joke of the day – The chauffeur
A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur suggested an idea. “Hey, boss,” he said. “I’ve heard your speech so many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.”
“Sounds great,” the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur’s hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
“Yes,” said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment, but quickly recovered. “That’s an easy one,” he replied. “It’s so easy, I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it.”
Joke of the day – Married women vs single women
How come married women are heavier than single women?
A single woman goes home, sees what’s in the fridge and goes to bed.
A married woman sees what’s in bed and goes to the fridge.
Joke of the day – Politicians & diapers
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.”
Joke of the day – Paint job
Anxious to get the porch painted, Julie urged her husband to allow the man that knocked on the door looking for handiwork to do the job. The man happily agreed to paint it for $50. They were thrilled at their good luck of getting the wide porch painted for a measly $50.
Minutes later there was a knock at the door. “All done” he said. “Already?” they both said at once. “Yeah, and by the way, it’s a Lexus not a Porsche”.
Joke of the day – The Millionaire’s Son
Mrs. Smith, the third grade teacher, gave the term test to her students. Richie, the son of a millionaire knew he will not pass the test. Reaching into his pocket, he found a $100 bill and he attached it to his test with a note, “A dollar per point.”. The next day Richie received his test papers with a note, “Good try!”, along with $60 change.
Joke of the day – Days off work
Bert urgently needed a few days off work, but he knew the Boss would not allow him to take leave. He thought that maybe if he acted “CRAZY” then he would tell him to take a few days off.
So he hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. His co-worker, Bonnie asked him what he was doing? He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he’s “CRAZY” and give him a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked “What are you doing?” Bert told him he was a light bulb. He said “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days”.
He jumped down and walked out of the office. When Bonnie followed him, the Boss asked, “And, where do you think you’re going?”
She replied, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark!”
Joke of the day – Laundromat Sign
Sign seen in a laundromat:
AUOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 