Priest: Rabbi, when are you going to break down and eat ham?
Rabbi: At your wedding, Father.
Tag Archives: humour
Joke of the day – Financial statement
Two friends were discussing the difficulty of making ends meet.
“With my current income, I’m having a hard time keeping my head above water,” John commented.
“Head above water!” Bert said. “I’m looking for a longer snorkel.”
Joke of the day – Medical school
Mrs Jones: What is your son doing?
Mrs Smith: He is in medical school.
Mrs Jones: What is he studying?
Mrs Smith: Nothing. They’re studying him.
Joke of the day ~ Mother-in-law’s visit
Jim took his Saint Bernard to the vet.
“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
The vet stepped back, “Jim, why should I do such a terrible thing?”
“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
Joke of the day – The lawyer’s son
The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father’s firm.
At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father’s office and said, “Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you’ve been working on for so long!”
His father yelled, “You idiot! We’ve been living on the funding of that case for ten years!”
Joke of the day – Loose conduct
“Loose conduct can quickly get you into tight places.”
Joke of the day – A healthy race
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a ‘head’ and the tomato was trying to ‘ketchup’!
Joke of the day – Life worth living
A group of people were having a party at the local pub. Suddenly, someone yelled “All the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
Joke of the day – Doctor’s instructions
Lulu is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When she returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
Lulu nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” she replied.
Joke of the day – 10 things about you
1) You are human.
2) You are reading this.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 