Two foolish guys went hunting for a bear. Along the way they saw a sign “Bear left,” so they went home.
Tag Archives: very funny jokes
Joke of the day – Definition of a fish
A fish is an underwater creature that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time the fisherman describes it to his friends.
Joke of the day – Best time to plant lettuce
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:
“Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter:
“Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
“Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden.”
The prisoner wrote another letter back:
“Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce.”
Joke of the day – New shampoo
Have you heard about the new shampoo for men who are going bald…
It’s called “What’s the Point?”
Joke of the day – Defensive driving
Driver: I had to drive into your fence to keep from hitting a cow that was on the road.
Farmer: Was it a Jersey cow?
Driver: I don’t know. I didn’t see her license plate.
Joke of the day – Call 911
A lady fainted and the husband calls 911.
The operator asks, “Where are you at”?
The husband replies, “I’m on Eucolipstic Road.”
The operator asks, “Can you spell that for me?”
“Well… I’ll just drag her over to Oak so you can pick her up there?”
Joke of the day – Bartender job
A dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?” and the bartender says, “Why don’t you try the circus?” The dog replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
Joke of the day – Alligator shoes
Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”
Joke of the day – Prospective husband
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women.’
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Joke of the day – Whiskey diet
‘I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.’
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 