Bill: How much are they asking for your apartment rent now?
Tim: About twice a day.
Category Archives: Good clean jokes
Joke of the day – Dog cemetery
Epitaph in a dog cemetery:
“He never met a man he didn’t lick.”
Joke of the day – Time to live
Jim: “The doctor gave me two weeks to live.”
Sam: “Goodness, what did you say?”
Jim: “I told him I’d take the first two weeks of December.”
Joke of the day – Model husband
In seeking a model husband, it’s wise to be sure he’s a working model.
Joke of the day – First aid
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a light pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver.
A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.”
The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”
Joke of the day – Hearing aids
An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.
The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman replies, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”.
Joke of the day – eBusiness
A corrupt minister used to write “NOT APPROVED” on all the papers that were sent to him by his assistants. He always left a significant space between NOT and APPROVED.
When the affected persons greased his palms, he would recall the file and just add an “E:” after NOT so that it became “NOTE: APPROVED”.
This was the beginning of eBusiness in Kenya.
Joke of the day – Spare part
A manager of an electronics shop ordered a part number 669, from the factory. When it arrived, he noticed they’d sent him part 699 instead. He fired off an angry letter and sent it back. A few days later, he got the replacement. It was the same part, along with a note containing these four words: TURN THE BOX OVER.
Joke of the day – Apache
An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral.
“I have 150 horses,” says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money.
A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest.
“Wouldn’t you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us?” asks the bank manager.
The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank.
“How many horses you got?”
Joke of the day – Monday blues
Dear Monday, I want to break up. I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry, it’s not me — it’s you!
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 