A rancher asked a veterinarian for some free advice. “I have a horse that walks normally sometimes, and sometimes he limps. What shall I do?”
The veterinarian replied, “The next time he walks normally, sell him.”
Tag Archives: free jokes
Joke of the day – Life insurance
Life insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up tomorrow, let me know of your decision then.”
Joke of the day – Difference between camel and diplomat
What is the difference between a camel and a diplomat?
A camel can work for days without drinking and a diplomat can drink for days without working.
Joke of the day – You’re A to K
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”
She asked, “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.”
She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
Joke of the day – The fluffy bunny
After a long day at the office, Jack came home to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Jack panicked! “If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they’ll hate me forever,” he thought.
So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur. Jack knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he sneaked inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes.
A couple of days later Jack and his neighbor saw each other outside. “Did you know that Fluffy died?” the neighbor asked. “Oh! Uhmm… I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened?” Jack mumbled.
The neighbor replied, “We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage!”
Joke of the day – Writing in zero gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.
The Russians use a pencil.
Joke of the day – The zoo
“Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shihtzu.”
Joke of the day – Saying grace
A couple invited some co-workers to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
“Would you like to say grace?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mom say”, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
Joke of the day – Theater ticket
On a visit to the local theater, an elderly man asked for the admission prices.
“Balcony seats are $15 each, circle seats are $10 each, stalls are $5 each and the programs are 50 cents, sir,” replied the lady behind the ticket counter.
“Right,” said the elderly man. “Give me a program and I’ll sit on it.”
Joke of the day – Simple math
Teacher: “If I laid two eggs on the chair and three eggs on the table, what do I get?”
Pupil: Your picture in “Believe It or Not!”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 