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Joke of the day – The hidden box

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An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his tie before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife to ask her about the box and its contents.

Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, “WHY?” The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings.

She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1.”

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Joke of the day – Vegetarians

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“Vegetarians, if you love animals so much then why do you keep eating all their food?”

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Joke of the day – Alarm clock

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An alarm clock is a strange device that makes people “rise and whine.”

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Joke of the day – Invention

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Bernie: “I’ve invented something that will allow people to see through walls.”

Fred: “That’s awesome! What do you call it?”

Bernie: “A window.”

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Joke of the day – Report card

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Boy to father: “This my report card Dad and here is one of yours I found in the attic.”

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Joke of the day – A big crab

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First sailor: “A big crab just bit off one of my toes.”

Second sailor: “Really? Which one?”

First sailor: “How do I know? All crabs look alike.”

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Joke of the day – Salary increment

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Young man to his boss: “Mr Smith, my mother told me to ask you for a raise.”

Mr Smith: “Okay, I’ll ask my mother if I may give it to you.”

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Joke of the day – Free advice

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A rancher asked a veterinarian for some free advice. “I have a horse that walks normally sometimes, and sometimes he limps. What shall I do?”

The veterinarian replied, “The next time he walks normally, sell him.”

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Joke of the day – Life insurance

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Life insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up tomorrow, let me know of your decision then.”

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Joke of the day – Difference between camel and diplomat

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What is the difference between a camel and a diplomat?

A camel can work for days without drinking and a diplomat can drink for days without working.