(Pic credit: http://www.grinningplanet.com)
Whenever I go near a bank
I get withdrawal symptoms.
Joke of the day – Withdrawal symptoms
Tag Archives: money
(Photo credit: http://www.loldamn.com)
It’s easy to find people who understand costs; the challenge is to find people who understand values.
– Michael Josephson
Joke of the day – Porsche for sale
A woman offered a brand-new Porsche for sale for a price of $10.
A man answered the ad, but he was slightly incredulous.
โWhatโs the gimmick?โ he inquired.
โNo gimmickโ the woman replied.
โMy husband died and in his will he asked that the car be sold
and the money go to his secretary.โ
“Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.”
– by T. S. Eliot
Joke of the day- Lesson on giving
The townโs richest man met with the minister after the Sunday service. โWhy does everyone call me cheap and stingy?โ complained the man. โIโve told everyone Iโm leaving half my money to the church when I die.โ
The minister nodded. โIt reminds me of the story about the pig and cow. The cow was much loved by the farmer and his neighbours, while the pig was not popular at all. The pig could not understand this and asked the cow about it.”
โHow come you are so well-like cow? People say youโre generous and good because you give milk and butter and cream every day. But I give more than that. From me they get bacon and ham; they even pickle my feet. Yet Iโm not popular and you are. โWhy do you think that is?โ
The cow replied, “Perhaps itโs because I give while Iโm still alive.โ
Joke of the day – Charity
A local charity had never received a donation from the townโs banker, so the director made a phone call.
โOur records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you havenโt given a penny to charity,โ the director began. โWouldnโt you like to help the community?โ
The banker replied, โDid your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?โ
โUm, no,โ mumbled the director.
โOr that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sisterโs husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?โ
โI โฆ I โฆ I had no idea.โ
โSo,โ said the banker, โif I donโt give them any money, why would I give any to you?โ
Joke of the day – Foreign aid
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
Joke of the day – Vacuum salesman
A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady’s cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, “If this new vacuum doesn’t pick up every bit of dirt then I’ll eat all the dirt.”
The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, “Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?”
Joke of the day – Saving money
One reason why it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
Joke of the day – Apache
An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral.
“I have 150 horses,” says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money.
A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest.
“Wouldn’t you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us?” asks the bank manager.
The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank.
“How many horses you got?”
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