“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say but can’t and the other half have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”
– Robert Frost
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – Big turkey
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
Happiness is …
“Thank you Lord for this delicious meal You have placed before me. Amen!”
… saying grace before meals!
Quote of the day – Lauren Kate
“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.”
― Lauren Kate
Joke of the day – Hearing test
There was an elderly man visiting a doctor for his check-up. As he was leaving he asked the doctor if he could recommend a specialist for his wife. “What’s wrong with her?” asked the doctor. The old man explained that her hearing was getting so bad that it was almost embarrassing. The doctor said he knew of several specialists that could help but he wanted the old man to do a little test when he got home to help the doctor determine the severity of her hearing loss. The doctor said “When you get home, make sure your wife’s back is turned to you and ask her a question. If she doesn’t respond walk closer and ask her again. Keep doing this until she answers and let me know the results”.
That night when the old man opened the door of his home he could see his wife in the kitchen preparing dinner. She was at the counter with her back to the door. “What’s for dinner?” the old man asked. His wife did not respond so he walks to the doorway of the kitchen and asked the question again. Still, he was greeted with silence. This time he walks up just behind her and asks once again “What’s for dinner?” His wife spins around a bit agitated and says “For the third time, Fried Chicken!!”
Quote of the day – Albert Einstein
“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”
– Albert Einstein
Joke of the day – Animal crackers
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
“What are you doing?” his mother asked.
“The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained.
“I’m looking for the seal.”
Happiness is …
… looking like Marilyn Monroe!
Quote of the day – Sir Wilfred Grenfell
“Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men but from doing something worthwhile.”
– Sir Wilfred Grenfell
Joke of the day – Just whisper
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mom, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Dad, I have to whisper.”
The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 