Two friends were discussing the difficulty of making ends meet.
“With my current income, I’m having a hard time keeping my head above water,” John commented.
“Head above water!” Bert said. “I’m looking for a longer snorkel.”
Tag Archives: good jokes
Joke of the day – Beware of dog
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a warning sign that read: “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the door. Inside, he noticed a harmless little dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” came the reply.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
Joke of the day – Loose conduct
“Loose conduct can quickly get you into tight places.”
Joke of the day – 10 things about you
1) You are human.
2) You are reading this.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
Joke of the day – The hidden box
An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his tie before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife to ask her about the box and its contents.
Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, “WHY?” The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings.
She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1.”
Joke of the day – Alarm clock
An alarm clock is a strange device that makes people “rise and whine.”
Joke of the day – Report card
Boy to father: “This my report card Dad and here is one of yours I found in the attic.”
Joke of the day – A big crab
First sailor: “A big crab just bit off one of my toes.”
Second sailor: “Really? Which one?”
First sailor: “How do I know? All crabs look alike.”
Joke of the day – Salary increment
Young man to his boss: “Mr Smith, my mother told me to ask you for a raise.”
Mr Smith: “Okay, I’ll ask my mother if I may give it to you.”
Joke of the day – Free advice
A rancher asked a veterinarian for some free advice. “I have a horse that walks normally sometimes, and sometimes he limps. What shall I do?”
The veterinarian replied, “The next time he walks normally, sell him.”
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