Joke of the day – Bus fare

November 7, 2013 | Newbloggycat

Conductor: “Full fare for the kid, he’s five.”

Mother: “How could he be five, I’ve only been married three years!”

Conductor: “Look lady, I take fares not confessions.”

Joke of the day – Love letters

November 5, 2013 | Newbloggycat

Bernie: I wrote Mimi a letter every day for a year.

Jim: What happened?

Bernie: She married the mailman.

Joke of the day – Duck hunter

November 4, 2013 | Newbloggycat

First hunter: How do you know you hit that duck?

Second hunter: Because I shot him in the foot and in the head at the same time.

First hunter: How could you possibly hit him in the foot and head at the same time?

Second hunter: He was scratching his head.

Quote of the day – Josh Billings

November 4, 2013 | Newbloggycat

“Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.”

– Josh Billings

Joke of the day – Paint job

November 2, 2013 | Newbloggycat

Anxious to get the porch painted, Julie urged her husband to allow the man that knocked on the door looking for handiwork to do the job. The man happily agreed to paint it for $50. They were thrilled at their good luck of getting the wide porch painted for a measly $50.

Minutes later there was a knock at the door. “All done” he said. “Already?” they both said at once. “Yeah, and by the way, it’s a Lexus not a Porsche”.

Joke of the day – The two monsters

October 31, 2013 | Newbloggycat

Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”

“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”

Joke of the day – The Millionaire’s Son

October 29, 2013 | Newbloggycat

Mrs. Smith, the third grade teacher, gave the term test to her students. Richie, the son of a millionaire knew he will not pass the test. Reaching into his pocket, he found a $100 bill and he attached it to his test with a note, “A dollar per point.”. The next day Richie received his test papers with a note, “Good try!”, along with $60 change.

Joke of the day – Days off work

October 26, 2013 | Newbloggycat

Bert urgently needed a few days off work, but he knew the Boss would not allow him to take leave. He thought that maybe if he acted “CRAZY” then he would tell him to take a few days off.

So he hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. His co-worker, Bonnie asked him what he was doing? He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he’s “CRAZY” and give him a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked “What are you doing?” Bert told him he was a light bulb. He said “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days”.

He jumped down and walked out of the office. When Bonnie followed him, the Boss asked, “And, where do you think you’re going?”

She replied, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark!”