Tag Archives: short jokes

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Joke of the day – The thief

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A thief was robbing a house. All of a sudden someone said, “Jesus is watching you!” “What? Oh well,” said the thief and he went back to work. When he started to pick up the VCR, he heard the voice again, “Jesus is watching you!” it said again. This time the thief pointed his flashlight at the voice and asked, “Who said that?” It was a parrot. “I’m Moses,” said the parrot. “Who in the world would name you Moses?” asked the thief. The parrot answered, “The same man that named the pitbull in the corner Jesus!”

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Joke of the day – Be quiet

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A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

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Joke of the day – Grandma

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A little boy asked his grandma how old she was.

“39 and holding,” she replied.

“Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?”

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Joke of the day – Starbucks

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“When I went to Starbucks for coffee they lied. It wasn’t Starbucks, it was four bucks!”

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Jokes of the day – Bulldog

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The mother was furious. “Sam!” – she yelled. “Why are you making such awful faces at your bulldog?”

“Well, Mom, he started it!”

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Jokes of the day – Relatives

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Wife – You hate my relatives!
Husband – No, I don’t! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine.

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Joke of the day – Flight to Boston

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A man telephoned the airline office and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Boston?” The clerk said, “Just a minute…” “Thank you,” the man said and hung up.

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Joke of the day – Manic Depression

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In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.

She posed this question to her students: “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?”

A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, “A football coach?”

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Joke of the day – Cows

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were on the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

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Joke of the day – The young lawyer

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A young lawyer died and was brought to heaven. Upon arriving the lawyer started protesting that it’s way to early for him to die, for he was only 32 years old, and there must be some mistake. The listening angel agreed that perhaps it was a mistake and agreed to look into it. After a few minutes the angel came back and said “I’m sorry sir but I am afraid there is no mistake, we calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96.”